I don't know why, exactly, but the other day, I found myself thinking of horses. When they come of age and are old enough to be ridden, we "break" them. We tame them into being controlled. We take away the wildness. That's not a bad thing with horses. Heck, I love to ride horses but would never attempt an unbroken one.
But with people, we talk about "sowing wild oats," being the "wild child," and other analogies to express irresponsible behavior. We "get it out of our systems" before we (ugh!) "settle down." I don't want a "settled" man! I want the wildness that God instilled in him to remain wild! I want him to take me on an adventure! I want to explore and share the insanity of life at his side.
Yes, life can get monotonous. We can get stuck in ruts in marriage. But we can also be silly and goofy and crazy and wild in our little family. When I see that wildness in my husband, I remember exactly why I fell in love with him in the first place. But wildness does not have to mean recklessness.
I find the older I get, the wilder I get. And by that, I mean that I care less about the opinions of strangers. I get braver. I find myself free to be nutso with my son. I don't worry my husband will love me less if I'm singing at the top of my lungs and dancing like a maniac. I literally was walking down the streets of downtown Chicago, holding my son's hand, and singing "Love is an Open Door" (from "Frozen") loud enough to be heard. We got a couple of looks from strangers. But they were smiles. And the way I figured it, they were strangers. I'll never see them again in my life. I refuse to be concerned with their thoughts. My son, on the other hand, will remember that his mom loved him enough that, when he said, "Can I say something crazy?" that I replied, "I love crazy!" (the first line from that song. He'll always keep with him that he mattered more than the strangers. He'll know that he's worth my pride, worth risking embarrassment. And hopefully, he'll see that he makes me braver. I hope he always stays a little wild, a little uninhibited.
I love that the three of us bring out the wildness in one another. I hope I never break the wild, but instead fully embrace and participate in it. I want to take the "everydayness" out of the everyday. And whether it's singing, dancing to the symphony rehearsal in public, or running through a torrential downpour with my son and my awesome aunt, I want to be wild!
