Love is strange. I just celebrated my wedding anniversary with my sweet husband yesterday, on Valentine's Day. I love him more now than I did when I married him. We went out to dinner with our son. I love him more now than the day he was born. I wasn't sure either was possible.
I feel like I've known them both forever and it seems as though I've been a wife and mom much longer than I have. I feel more like myself, more complete, more understood, and more comfortable in my own skin than I thought was possible. I didn't even know I felt not quite "me." Now, I do. It's because of those two knuckleheads. Yes, love is strange. Investing in them has helped me come into my own. Being honest with them has led to being honest with myself. Listening to and understanding them has brought deeper self-awareness.
And yet, there are days I cannot believe how brief a time I've known them both. I am continually learning about them. I discover new things (most of which I like.) I know we all change and become different versions of ourselves over time. I am often saddened to hear of families or couples that break up because they "grew apart." We all constantly change and grow. The trick is to try to change and grow together.
I like learning about them. I like knowing their quirks, likes, dislikes. I like knowing how I can show my love to them, even without words. Sometimes, I get lazy. Sometimes, I have to be reminded. How fortunate am I to have people in my life that think I'm worth reminding, instead of giving up on me, on us! And how blessed am I to know that I can remind them what I need as well, without fear of abandonment, hurt, or mocking.
Love is strange. You see, we all innately love ourselves, to some degree. And so often, we see self-love as the ultimate, end-game. "What's good for ME?" Here's where love gets quirky. The more we give it, the more we consider others above ourselves, the more we pour into the lives of loved ones, friends, acquaintances, strangers, and enemies; the more we get back. Love does not run out because we pass it around. It grows.
The more deeply in love I fall with my God, my husband, my son, my family, the more I know about myself. The more I see me through their eyes instead of my self-critical sight, the more I love me. When I focus on others, I become happier. When I am self-centered, I am much less content. And so is everyone around me.
So I will try to meet the "love-needs" of others. I will spend time playing with my son when there's something else I want to or should be doing. I will get up in the morning and make breakfast for my husband instead of sleeping an extra few minutes. And I will be so much more fulfilled, content, happy, and loved.
Yes, love is strange.
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