The beginning

Well, here goes nothing. I decided to take up blogging again for a few reasons. The first is that I love to write. I enjoy expressing myself in written form. I like telling stories and this is a way to tell them without having to wear out my loved ones ears (or patience!) Plus it's adult interaction, in a way. Putting myself out there and (hopefully!) getting feedback or dialogue is healthy for me. The second reason is, whether vain or not, I think my life (because of my friends and family, not due to self) is amusing and interesting. Thirdly, I'm trying to navigate this new adventure of parenthood and a second marriage. I tend to do better if I write it down, can reflect on it, and analyze it. If others can learn from my missteps or successes, YAY! Lastly, to challenge myself and fight off the sometimes-mundane boredness that can plague a "housewife." So, yeah, I gave myself a job. We'll see what happens.

So, here's my life in a nutshell so you can get to know me (if you don't already.) I was born in Nashville in 1978. I had an amazing upbringing with two Godly parents who are still married, still like each other, and still love each other. I have one brother (who is now happily married to an awesome lady and has two very cool boys.) Shortly after high school, I fell in love, married an awesome guy, moved to Kansas City, had a wonderful 10 1/2 year marriage and an enjoyable life in Middle America. Then tragedy struck. That awesome guy got cancer, bravely lived for less than four months post diagnosis, passed very peacefully, and I found myself a 30-year-old widow. Alone in a city without family but surrounded by friends, I pressed on with life, through God, who gives me more than I deserve and sustains me beyond measure. God blessed me again with a second incredible man (my now-husband) and a rocking-awesome little boy.

This blog will consist of my likes, dislikes, discoveries (good and bad) of various products as a mommy and wife, and general adventures with my new fantastic spouse and new fantastic son, as well as my fantastic friends and family.

I guess I'll start this first blog with one of my first memories after bringing Jackson home from the hospital after his birth. He was a few days old. His birth had been uneventful (not to be interpreted as easy, just not complicated.) The only issue he had was jaundice, which lasted about a week and was treated with a bili-blanket. So, my mom had returned to Nashville and my sweet son was crying in the middle of the night. I got up to feed him. I, like most new moms, hadn't slept much and was still trying to figure out this small helpless creature completely reliant upon me, and who did not include any instructions. I tried feeding him, but he didn't seem to want to eat. So, I tried changing him (he disdained being even remotely wet!) Still, he screamed. I tried feeding him again. I rocked. I walked. I stood and swayed. I shushed. I swaddled. Nothing was going to soothe this child, it seemed. So, I did the only thing left I could think to - I sat down and cried with him. My poor husband walked in to find us both bawling our eyes out. And I didn't even apologize. I just explained it was the only thing left to do. He kindly took the baby, I went back to bed and collapsed into an exhausted sleep. I can only assume the kid eventually quit crying and went back to sleep as well.

But I did learn a few things that night. It's ok for kids to cry. It's ok for mommies to cry. Neither's gonna break or die from it. It's ok for daddies to have to step up. It's ok to ask for help. It doesn't mean you're weak or failing. And it's ok to not have all the answers, to make it up as you go. You can make all the plans in the world. Just know that they're going to be changed. Kids, spouses, and even selves, don't act according to plan. And that's just fine.

Twenty months later, I've got one of the happiest kids I've ever encountered who sleeps well and doesn't cry unless something's wrong. But he's about to turn two, so I'm sure that will change soon. And that's ok too. That's why there are ear plugs...